It’s not just me!

When I was pregnant with the biggie, I was mostly in a lovely  happy little bubble, dreaming of the future as I rubbed my mahoosive bump.

There was a polyhydramnios issue (too much fluid around her) and my blood pressure crept up in the last week of pregnancy but everything else was super so I didn’t worry much about anything for the whole nine months. The birth was, of course, painful but it was drug free and natural, just as I had dreamt of.

Then came reality – the bit after the birth. Holy crap! But even then, I didn’t worry much. I just did what I thought was best and got on with it. As hard it was.

Fast forward to my pregnancy with the littlest and I was on edge from the get go.

Maybe it was because I’d miscarried before falling pregnant with her but everything was a worry to me – the scans, the Down’s syndrome testing, then the results (high risk), then movements, how biggie would cope, what we’d do with her when I went into labour….

And its continued to be quite honest. I worry. A lot.

Why isn’t she sleeping? (Yeah another not so good sleeper, worse luck!) Did she eat more today than yesterday? How much more? Effects of calpol. Effects of ibuprofen. Wearing coats in the car. Extended breastfeeding. Co sleeping. And as for my search engine history…. Doctor Google is really not my friend!

So when I heard the folk on Loose Women today discuss post natal anxiety, as an actual real life Thing, I almost fist pumped the air. That’s me. That’s what I have. I’m not neurotic, I have PNA!

Ive looked on the Anxiety website and I can’t believe this is actually out there. It seems so crazy we talk all the time about post natal depression but brush off our new parenting worries as “neurotic mummy alert”.

We need to support mums and help them realise that it’s natural to worry but not to feel ashamed if they have constant horrid visions of their child falling into the bath or bringing the bookcase down on them.

I hope by publicising this through popular tv shows and in the press, even just one mum will not categorise herself as crazy but seek the help she may need to make every day life a little easier.

love and light to all xxx

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